| Many women experience stress as they struggle to | | | | best fit. It may not be until after the baby is born that |
| find a balance between motherhood and work. | | | | you begin to understand all of the emotions and the |
| Deciding whether to (1) return to the out-of-home | | | | maternal attachments that you have for the child that |
| workforce fulltime, or (2) return part-time, or (3) stay at | | | | you begin to have a sense of priorities. How does |
| home fulltime is difficult because of many factors. | | | | the salaried job compare to motherhood. Yes, |
| What is best for the family and kids? What about | | | | motherhood is often the least valued job around |
| financial considerations? Many women feel pulled in | | | | financially, but it is still the most important for many. If |
| two directions trying to decide whether it is best to | | | | you find staying at home is draining all of your energy, |
| work outside the home or best to stay at home and | | | | you may find that returning to work helps you deal |
| raise the kids. I have consulted with many women | | | | with the home life stress and gives you a buoyed |
| who feel guilty, stressed, and anxious as they try to | | | | sense of self-worth and identity. If you find that |
| create a perfect balancing act. But I remind them | | | | working outside of the home is filling you with guilt, |
| that there is no one formula. The best solution | | | | stress and anxiety, and you can financially swing |
| depends on what is the best fit for each individual | | | | being a stay at home mom, you may find it fulfilling to |
| woman. Single moms and many families need the | | | | engage in the growth and development of the children |
| mother's income to meet their financial obligations. So | | | | full time. Many women are splitting work and |
| the choice is what kind of career allows for the | | | | motherhood either working part time or working from |
| additional income and schedule responsibilities raising | | | | home. It allows for sharing in the children's |
| the children. Some women choose to take a break | | | | development as they grow and for self-identity in a |
| from the out-of-home workforce and stay at home to | | | | career option that is reflective of your personal talents |
| raise the children. With any of these emotionally | | | | and abilities. There is no one solution to balancing |
| challenging decisions, the moms experience stress as | | | | motherhood and work. It is a personal decision that |
| they try to devise a formula for juggling jobs, | | | | moms have to determine themselves. |
| schedules, childcare and family responsibilities. | | | | Decision Stress: Leaving Baby |
| When working women become moms, they often find | | | | A lot of moms experience a mixture of emotions |
| a shift in their priorities. This new little bundle of joy is | | | | when it is time to decide when and whether to return |
| so cute!! Many begin to question, how important is | | | | to work after having a baby. Many moms |
| that job? But the baby also cries a lot and requires a | | | | experience separation anxiety and grief about leaving |
| lot of time and energy. So maybe returning back to | | | | their child at a childcare center or with a sitter in order |
| work with grown-ups is a reprieve!! It just depends | | | | to and transition back to work. Although these are |
| on how the mother views the situation. Weighing the | | | | normal feelings to experience, some women have |
| options, women may find that it is more comfortable to | | | | greater difficulty dealing with the stress than others. |
| shift to a different job schedule or shift to a different | | | | The emotions vary among women; some experience |
| job entirely. Some women decide to stay at home | | | | guilt and sadness when leaving the baby, while others |
| so that they can raise their children before returning to | | | | experience relief at getting back to their adult career |
| the out-of-home workforce. Regardless, I find that an | | | | worlds. Transitioning back to work can be less guilt |
| overwhelming number of moms are the household | | | | ridden by doing solid research on the available |
| member expected to adjust their lives to | | | | childcare options. Knowing that your child is in a |
| accommodate the children's needs, and the women | | | | healthy and safe environment will ease your |
| are the ones who will do whatever is necessary to | | | | conscience. So check out the options, make some |
| make a homelife run smoothly. The emotional stress | | | | visits, ask about flexibility between work requirements |
| can be overwhelming at times. | | | | and childcare schedules. Look at the pros and cons |
| | | | | of the various ways in which you and your family |
| Decision Stress: To Stay at Home or Return to Work | | | | devise a formula that is comfortable for everyone. |
| Whether you are staying at home or staying in the | | | | And everyone includes you. Yes, your feeling and |
| out-of-home workforce, having kids creates stress. | | | | emotions matter. So don't leave them out of the |
| Staying at home to raise the kids may mean loss of | | | | formula that you are crafting. If the mom is not in a |
| income, and it certainly provides less time for adult | | | | solid emotional place, then this will effect the family, so |
| conversations. But some women believe that this | | | | be honest in what matters for your wellbeing. |
| choice provides the best care for children, even if they | | | | Stress Reducing Tips for Working Moms |
| feel guilty "wasting" a good college education or | | | | |
| "wasting" their career talents. That's why when | | | | 1. Stop feeling guilty. No one is perfect and I am sure |
| asked what they do, they reply, "Just a mom." In their | | | | you are doing the best you can. But there are |
| eagerness to feel productive they may create a | | | | always choices and sometimes you have to say "No, I |
| number of projects that become impossible to | | | | can't do this or meet that request." Activities are time |
| complete in the time that is available. So more guilt is | | | | consuming and some activities will have higher priorities |
| piled on top of the guilt they may already feel. But | | | | than others. Watch the standards you set for |
| other women who stay at home may find the | | | | yourself. Is it really that important to have the |
| experience satisfying and enjoyable. It just depends | | | | perfectly manicured lawn or the perfectly decorated |
| how you are emotionally wired. Salaried | | | | house? While kids are living in the house, it is ok to |
| out-of-home moms may feel guilty because they like | | | | have a house that looks lived in. |
| their careers and enjoy the workplace and don't mind | | | | 2. |
| being away from their kids. Should they be thinking of | | | | Don't overprogram your kids. It seems to be a trend |
| their own needs and wants rather than those of the | | | | that we enroll our kids in every afterschool activity and |
| kids? Are they looked upon as being a good mother | | | | sports program offered. But kids need down time. |
| when they are leaving them for others to raise? | | | | If you restrict the number of activities to a manageable |
| Hence the multiple calendars for work responsibilities | | | | number, you can help them learn to prioritize their |
| and children's activities or the phone calls from work | | | | choices and you will find your taxi driving time reduced. |
| checking on baby. Yes, these women also | | | | It will also help the kids participate in some activities and |
| experience stress, guilt and anxiety just like the stay at | | | | also have some down time to relax and rejuvenate. |
| home moms do but the emotional strains are triggered | | | | 3. |
| from different sources of inadequacy. In other words, | | | | Take care of yourself. Remember that your health |
| some women who stay at home feel guilty because | | | | should remain a priority with proper nutrition, exercise |
| they are not bringing in an income and some saleried | | | | and time to rest. Personal time is important as well, |
| women feel guilty because they are not staying with | | | | so that you can rejuvenate. Enjoy the company of |
| baby and witnessing milestones such as first steps or | | | | your spouse and enjoy time with friends away from |
| first words. | | | | the kids. Don't let the kids take all of your time so |
| Deciding whether to return to work or stay at home | | | | that you become depleted emotionally. |
| may be completely dependant on your financial | | | | 4. |
| needs. However there are options. The most | | | | Remind yourself that there are many ways to be a |
| important consideration for moms is what feels like the | | | | good mom. |