Toddler Refuses Preschool! Don't Panic, Here Are Some Constructive Steps to Take

This morning, for the second day in a row, our 3 yearor to induce a tantrum, either.
old daughter went "on strike" and refused to go toThere are, however, some communication techniques
preschool. As a counselor who works with truants, andyou can use to massage the emotions of the moment
school-refusal syndrome, my antenae perk up whenso that your toddler is more cooperative.
someone at home says they're not going to school."Are you ready for school?" almost always gets a
Fortunately, my wife and I had previously been"NO!" at our house. Perhaps the better way to phrase
"trained" by our first child, so we knew that "schoolthis is without a question at all: "We're leaving for
blues" sometimes happen. Usually on Mondays after apreschool after you brush your teeth. Please be
fun weekend with family and friends.ready." Simple, sequenced, and clear.
Don't panic! The first day your toddler says, "I'm notAnother thing that will help your mornings immensely is
going to preschool!" you may tense up. But is it anyto have enough spare time yourself to allow for these
different than when your child says, "I don't want to goexchanges. When you are already late, tempers are
home!" from the park? In our case, it was hard to getshort, tantrums ensue.
the kids out the door to school, and then in theMake sure, too, that there are no larger issues going
afternoon, it was hard to get them to leave.on at the preschool. If you suspect bullying or any
Your child may (especially around the ages of 2, 3 andother reason why your child wouldn't be comfortable in
4) just be flexing their "will" muscles. Sure, they'represchool, talk to the headmaster without delay.
testing you. "What will mom and dad do if I...?" This is allShowing your support for your child's feelings will build
part of growing up, and testing of boundaries and limitsimmeasurable trust between you.
that will continue well into the teenage years (wait tillFinally, and if you're lucky, you may just decide to take
that gets started!)the day off with your child. While it isn't possible every
You need to make sure that your expectations aretime, the day you spend with your toddler today may
clear and that guidelines are set. There is really nowell be more important than anything they did at
need to reason with your baby at this point (it barelypreschool that day, or anything you might have done
registers at this point). There is no need to get angryat the office.