The Theories of Nature and Nurture

There are certain schools of thought that state abroken and turned to anyone over three feet tall for
child's personality is half nature and half nurture.help. My son however, furrowed his brow just like his
Certainly the quality of parenting in regards to direction,dad and announced his distaste in broken English,
discipline and affection make a massive difference in"People NOT take trains from people" His reedy voice
the type of adult they will one day be. But there is afilled the play area. The children stopped and I heard
great deal to be said about the type of personalitymyself responding.
your child comes with when it enters this world. I had"Its o.k. honey," I said with an awkward smile,
read about these theories while attending a university,"Everyone is sharing, right??"
but it wasn't until I had my own children that I trulyI was openly proud of him. My child was a champion
understood the concept of 'nature'.of the less fortunate. My child was a savior to those in
We have no control or choice when it comes to theneed. Obviously I had done something right. Two
little person delivered into our arms at the hospital. Weweeks later, however, my tiny soldier was the one
look into their squinty little eyes and wonder just who isgrabbing trains out of other's hands and instead of
hiding inside there. When all the gas-bubble fussing andfeeling pride, I was offering my apologies to both
nursing struggles are gone, what slowly exposes itselfparents and children alike.
over time is a tiny individual hard wired with likes andHow much of his behavior was something he learned
dislikes they express with equal intensity. How intense,at home and how much was he born with? I believe
you ask?? Obviously each child is different. Some ofthat like all of us, his character is built of opposites.
them might react to a toy taken away with a lost littleDepending on the day he can be miserable and
whisper and others may turn red and clench theirmanipulative or a model citizen. Instead of judging him
entire bodies in rage. Being a parent, you tend tobased on whatever complicated stage of
wonder or assume that all children are the same but itdevelopment he's going through, I try to look at the
isn't until you see your child begin to socialize that youoverall theme of his nature. Sometimes I despair of it
realize just how different they really are.when I see that it all boils down to a world beating but
The first time I took my little boy to a playgroup it wasexhausting intensity. Despair because I know how
an interesting shock. Standing around a set of Thomasmuch nurturing it's going to take us to funnel it into
Trains in the local library, I watched the three little boyspositive channels. However, other times I'm delighted to
stage their own social microcosm. My little man, whoknow that he'll go through all the same glorious highs
had always expressed himself with a particular brandand lows that his Dad and I have experienced in our
of sensitive intensity was suddenly both commandinglives. One thing I know for certain however -- don't
other children and swallowed up at the same time.envy or scorn other people's children. A few minutes in
One boy, standing on sturdy feet with a tightly shaventhe future, the little monster pulling hair in the playground
head was quick to grab the trains he wanted out ofor taking others Thomas Trains could be yours...
the other's hands. Another little one immediately looked