| As a parent, my primary goal was to make positive | | | | services. |
| childhood memories for my daughter. My goal for | | | | 5. Social Parents: |
| graduate school was to stay focused and finish with a | | | | When people say it takes a village to raise a child, they |
| degree. By the time I started my master's and doctoral | | | | often mean that raising a child should not be the sole |
| program, my daughter was in third grade; I realized that | | | | responsibility of the biological parents. As parents and |
| to be a successful parent and a competitive graduate | | | | graduate students, you need a network of mentors. |
| student I had to draw some boundaries and be | | | | Don't be afraid to ask for help or to use available |
| practical and parsimonious with my time. I let my | | | | resources, such as on-campus daycare, after-school |
| advisor know upfront that I could not attend meetings | | | | care, free or reduced lunch programs, summer camp |
| after 3:00 pm because I wanted to be home when my | | | | programs, child-care subsidies, and other student-run |
| daughter got home from school. I valued the time I | | | | support groups, such as single-parent groups, divorced |
| spent with my daughter and respected my advisor's | | | | parent groups, wives of graduate students, etc. |
| schedule by being honest at the outset of our advisor | | | | 6. Take Advantage of Campus Summer Programs |
| advisee relationship. | | | | for Children: |
| If you are a parent preparing to apply to graduate | | | | When the summer vacation occurs, you might still |
| school prioritize how much time and effort to give to | | | | have classes. Consequently, you must arrange |
| your child, spouse, advisor, colleagues, and other | | | | activities for your children. Many universities offer |
| competing obligations. Understand that graduate school | | | | summer programs for children. Some of them offer |
| might take longer because you have other | | | | scholarships based on the financial needs of the |
| responsibilities. To finish your degree and raise a happy | | | | participating student. Your fellowship or assistantship |
| child, you don't have to be a perfect parent or a | | | | awards might qualify your children for these programs. |
| perfect graduate student. In seeking a balance | | | | Nonetheless, these programs are generally not |
| between the two responsibilities, try to eliminate things, | | | | expensive. Programs can be 1-2 week programs, |
| people, and commitments that drain your energy and | | | | some are residential-based, some focus on |
| are not a priority. As with everything, you have to pick | | | | academics, computers, and art, while others focus on |
| your battles and be willing to walk away sometimes. | | | | athletics. If you can put together a series of these |
| Here's how to get started. | | | | camps, you can cover the entire summer break for |
| 1. Prioritize Your Time: | | | | your child. |
| To be an effective parent, you must be able to spend | | | | 7. Services for Parents: |
| quality time with your child and yourself. You must | | | | Even if your school does not have graduate housing, it |
| make every minute count to try to reach a balance | | | | might provide other services for graduate students |
| between your academic life and your parenting | | | | with children. Some schools have organized |
| responsibilities. The guilt of not working on your thesis | | | | student-parent groups, such as Michigan State |
| or dissertation is normal, but graduate students who | | | | University's Student Parents on a Mission, which offers |
| are parenting have the added guilt of not spending | | | | parenting classes and opportunities for student-parents |
| "enough" time with their children. The more time you | | | | to connect with each other. Check to see if your |
| spend feeling guilty, the less time you spend either | | | | university offers university-organized activities for the |
| parenting or finishing school. To reduce the guilt you | | | | children of graduate students and other valuable |
| must become more organized by creating daily, | | | | services such as on-campus childcare, coupons for |
| weekly, and monthly priority lists. | | | | subsidized childcare services, and scholarships for |
| 2. Treat Graduate School Like a Job -- Manage Your | | | | graduate students who are parents. |
| time: | | | | 8. Subsidized and Unsubsidized Loans: |
| In the beginning of your graduate program, coursework | | | | Because you have children, your financial needs might |
| is often based on a strict class schedule, around which | | | | exceed the standards calculated for an average |
| child care must be organized. Nonetheless, it is | | | | graduate student without children. You should fill out a |
| important that you make the most of the time you | | | | FASA form and complete the section which asks you |
| have available. When the coursework phase is over, | | | | to provide information about extenuating |
| you are responsible for managing and structuring your | | | | circumstances. |
| hours throughout the day. | | | | Direct and FFEL Stafford Loans are either subsidized |
| Treating graduate school like a job will help you to | | | | or unsubsidized. You can receive a subsidized loan and |
| effectively manage your time, your schedule, and your | | | | an unsubsidized loan for the same enrollment period. |
| children's schedule. Even if you don't have a class, be | | | | While a subsidized loan is awarded on the basis of |
| productive on a daily basis when you are away from | | | | financial need, an unsubsidized loan is not. |
| your child, so you can spend quality time with your child | | | | 9. Setting Priorities and Being Selective: |
| without feeling guilty. | | | | As a graduate student with parenting responsibilities, |
| 3. Self-care and Routines-- Setting a Bedtime: | | | | you must become more organized than the average |
| While you are in graduate school, unstructured time is | | | | student. Because of time restrictions, you cannot |
| not your friend--you need a routine that works for | | | | participate in all department activities. You must be |
| your household. Many researchers find that children | | | | selective in terms of which activities, how long or often |
| benefit most from a structured, safe, and predictable | | | | you participate. Make no mistake, some participation is |
| environment. It is important to give your child a specific | | | | required. Your attendance and participation in national |
| bedtime routine that works for you and your child. You | | | | conferences, campus workshops, and presentations |
| can increase the bedtime as the child ages. With a | | | | are important components of your success in your |
| nightly bedtime routine you are able to schedule work | | | | graduate school. Your visibility in these national, |
| and relaxation time for yourself. | | | | campus, and department events helps you to become |
| Your physical presence is not enough, as a parent, | | | | better known by your advisor, committee, and other |
| spouse, and graduate student, you are required to be | | | | individuals in your field. Your ability to network with |
| mentally present in each moment and in whatever you | | | | faculty will help when it comes to securing -- |
| do. When you have scheduled time to work on your | | | | fellowships, assistantships, opportunities to work in a |
| dissertation, work on your dissertation. When you are | | | | lab, and recommendations for the future. |
| home, spend that time with your child. To finish your | | | | 10. Libraries and Reserved Readings: |
| degree and still enjoy the precious moments with your | | | | Often, reserved readings are required and only |
| child, you must remain healthy both physically and | | | | available at the library's reserve desk for a limited |
| mentally. To do so, you must create some personal | | | | amount of time. Reading these items at unpopular |
| rewards for yourself and set aside some fun time for | | | | times might ensure that you trip to the library is not |
| you as well. | | | | wasted, and you are able to find the material when |
| 4. Graduate Family Housing: | | | | you arrive. Because reserved readings are often |
| When you are searching for a graduate school and | | | | available for a one-to-two hour time period, you may |
| you have children or are thinking about starting a | | | | need more than one checkout period to finish the |
| family, consider the university's resources that are | | | | material. |
| available to graduate students with children. Graduate | | | | To save time, photocopy the document to read during |
| family housing is as important as financial aid. | | | | a more convenient time. In addition, when you go to the |
| Graduate family housing often involves a community | | | | library---be sure to bring activities to occupy your child. |
| of similar parents who are in graduate school facing | | | | There is not much in college library to amuse, entertain |
| similar responsibilities. These housing communities often | | | | children, or to keep them quiet. However, most libraries |
| have bartering systems that might involve exchange | | | | have videos and or quiet-study rooms that can be |
| for daycare; escorts to and from schools; information | | | | reserved ahead of time. When I was unable to afford |
| about teachers, schools, and principals; newsletters; tax | | | | a television and a VCR, my daughter and I would |
| information; child support; scholarships; listings for | | | | watch videos in the library together, or she would |
| part-time jobs; items to buy/sell; and childcare or other | | | | watch quietly while I read articles next to her. |