Stress Relief Techniques For A Preschool Child - Part One

Many years ago, children from birth to four or fivethe child willingly accepts the demands, a feeling of
years of age exercised natural preschool stress relief.eustress takes over. Endorphins are released and the
Training in preschool stress relief was both unknownchild is cheerfully compliant. Preschool stress relief is
and unnecessary. Stay at home mothers nevernot needed for eustress. If the child rejects the
worried about trying to increase self-concept in theirdemands, however, distress takes charge. Distress, the
preschool children. They did not work to instill artificialfight-or-flight mechanism, releases adrenalin and the
coping skills and specialized anger management skills inchild becomes combative or fearful, and non-compliant.
pre-schoolers. Common sense dictated preschoolDistress does call for preschool stress relief.
stress relief efforts.Underlying Reason for Preschool Stress
In the twenty-first century, however, many whoThe ultimate, underlying reason preschoolers
themselves mismanage stress are seeking stressexperience "distress" rather than "eustress" is their
relief techniques for a preschool child or children. I haveinner response to relinquishing control or having no one
been appalled, both as teacher and principal, to see thein control.
negative, detrimental changes since I began my career.Preschool children, like adults, want control in their lives.
While we struggle to instill greater measures ofThey want and need boundaries. On the one hand,
preschool stress relief, we actually increase stress onthey don't want someone else controlling their lives.
young children.They want to steer their own lives. The term "terrible
From my viewpoint as career educator of more thantwos" originates in the preschooler's desire to be
30 years, I would like to address the issue briefly. Whatindependent of outside control. On the other hand, they
are - or should be - appropriate preschool stress reliefwant someone to exercise firm, loving control, and if
techniques?the adult does not do so, the child will attempt it.
Defining Preschool StressBasic Requirement of Preschool Stress Relief
Preschool stress is the response of a preschool childStress relief techniques for a preschool child must
to physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual demandsunderstand and build on the underlying reason for
made upon the child. When the response is positive,stress if they are to succeed. Preschool stress relief
the preschooler experiences eustress. When themust focus on the child's determination to exercise
response is negative, the child experiences distress.control, or have firm control exercised over, all 4 areas
Both are stress: "eustress" is beneficial, happy stress;of his or her own life: emotional, mental, physical, and
"distress" is unhealthy, miserable stress.spiritual.
What Preschool Stress Is NotWeeding Out Stressors
1. Preschool stress is not the teacher's demand thatPreschool stress relief should not concentrate on
Sally come to the story circle and sit quietly. It is Sally'swedding out stressors. The stressor is seldom at fault.
response to that demand. Preschool stress relief mustNo matter how great, the stressor itself does not
focus on the response.determine how the child responds to it.
2. Preschool stress is not the teacher's demand thatIt is an error to believe that any of the following 7
Bobby try again to count to 20. It is Bobby's responseapproaches (which I have witnessed often) will
to that demand. Preschool stress relief must focus onaccomplish preschool stress relief.
the response.1. Adults give commands, and let children comply or
3. Preschool stress is not Mother's demand that Sashanot, as they wish.
stop crying when left at preschool. It is Sasha's2. Adults let children roam the room at will.
response to that demand. Preschool stress relief must3. Adults let children refuse obedience until the count of
focus on the response.5, 10, etc.
Preschool Stressors versus Preschool Stress4. Adults separate children who refuse to get along
The most prevalent error in attempts at preschooltogether.
stress relief is the confusion of stressors with stress.5. Adults ignore misbehaving children, hoping desire for
1. Preschool stressors, on the one hand, are alwaysattention will win.
present. They are an inescapable part of life.6. Adults classify misbehavior as stress behavior, and
Preschool stressors themselves should never bepermit it.
viewed as the cause of stress. Stressors are simply7. Adults teach preschool stress relief techniques that
demands made upon the preschool child in one formfocus on relaxation, smiling, and deep breathing, but
or another: to cooperate; to learn; to share; to complyneglect the root cause.
with rules; to exercise self control; etc.Successful preschool stress relief has a proven
2. Preschool stress, on the other hand, is the preschoolformula, which we address in Part Two of this article.
child's response to demands made upon him or her. If