| Coming home to a warm hearth and home after a | | | | Emiko at first suggested I just come home later, say |
| day of work is one of Dad's favorite parts of the day. | | | | 11:00, when the kids were asleep. "Just a minute," I |
| After hours of irate client phone calls, financial balance | | | | replied, "I want to come home and see my kids!" |
| sheets, monotonous factory work or even for | | | | Finally, in a moment of genius, Emiko drew up a chart |
| work-at-home dads, coming home to a warm dinner, | | | | and posted it on the wall. It was full of fun drawings of |
| warm home and warm hugs from his loved ones is | | | | our kids doing the behaviors that we all agree we |
| one of the very reasons we go to work. | | | | should be aiming for. Getting up by 7:00. Eating |
| Coming home at 9:30 one night, I was expecting to | | | | breakfast, changing clothes, getting to preschool by |
| hear a "welcome home, honey!" from my wife, or, | | | | 9:00. In the afternoon, helping mom, taking a bath, eating |
| since we live in Japan, the Japanese greeting, | | | | dinner with nice manners, brushing teeth, to bed by |
| "okaerinasai!" (Welcome home). What I heard from | | | | 9:00. You get the idea. |
| Emiko instead was a groan of disappointment and | | | | So for each activity, under each child's name, they can, |
| frustration. Was my coming home so terrible? | | | | if they accomplish their task, get a sticker. That's it. Just |
| As is always the case, she had her reasons: the kids | | | | a little colorful "dot" next to each activity. The child |
| had just about drifted off to sleep when they heard | | | | decides by themself if they will reward themselves a |
| my key in the front door lock. Eyes were re-opened, | | | | sticker. Get ten in a day and you get a BIG sticker for |
| the "Daddy's home!" festival began. | | | | that day. |
| Now far be it from me to refuse an invitation to | | | | Not high-tech, at all. But it's posted on the wall, and best |
| wrestle with my 3 and 5 year old. Getting smothered | | | | of all, it works. When you make yours, get the kids to |
| with kisses from the 3 year old princess is one of the | | | | input some of the activities and behaviors they should |
| highlights of my day...however, the wrestling and kissing | | | | shoot for. Giving them a voice in how they are |
| escalated to screaming and singing, jumping and | | | | disciplined helps them "buy in" and feel ownership and |
| dancing. At close to 11:00, it was getting late. And | | | | responsibility for their own behavior. Make it colorful, |
| tomorrow was a preschool day. | | | | and fun, a game with no losers. I think you'll be amazed |
| After a few of these nights, we parents realized we | | | | by the changes in motivation you'll see. |
| had to make some changes. | | | | |