| p>Many parents have lost control in their own | | | | Trust each and other. Rely on that the other parent is |
| leadership and the children is making the decisions. | | | | capable of taking care of the child and makes what's |
| Why is that? We have built up a system where | | | | best for he or she. Earning trust from the other parent |
| parents leave their children to daycare, working full | | | | is tough. The sooner the better. We often listen to |
| time, and then are filled with guilt, obeying every wish | | | | anyone with our ears, what he or she is saying, the |
| the children have. It's also common that parents are | | | | sound. What we should listen to is the body language |
| making promises. Fore example "Next week we will | | | | which stands for over 80% of communication, how the |
| see that movie!" | | | | person act and react. |
| And when the day comes it has to be cancelled for | | | | What's the child really saying? Taking the words |
| some reason. Making promises and not keeping them | | | | literally is risky. Ask the child questions like: What do |
| is fatal to relations and developing an authority. It all | | | | you mean by saying... Is it true that... How exactly do |
| depends on the child's abilities to comprehend of | | | | you know... I can see you are sad, tell me why. These |
| course. In the long run it's devastating. Divorced parents | | | | and other open questions are your instruments as a |
| is far more complicated when children take advantage | | | | parent to coach your child and building trust and |
| of the to not getting along. It's even more important | | | | respect. There is a lot of books on the subject. Read |
| that the parents cooperate for the child's sake. | | | | one and grow. |