| I remember how devastated I was the first time my | | | | child doesn't understand exactly what you are saying, |
| daughter smacked me. I felt mad and ashamed all at | | | | and so continues what s/he is doing. |
| the same time. How did this precious baby turn into a | | | | Here is how this new method works. In our example |
| monster overnight? One day she was sweet and | | | | we will use Mommy (the victim), and Daddy, or another |
| cuddly. The next she used hitting to tell me she did not | | | | adult (the comforter). When your child hits someone |
| like what was going on! I felt like I had somehow failed | | | | your first reaction instead of running to the child should |
| as a parent. Why does she do this? We don't hit! | | | | be to immediately rush over to Mommy and see if she |
| The hitting started out of the blue one day, and no | | | | is okay. When you do this make sure that the person |
| matter what methods we tried to use to stop her, she | | | | who is the "comforter" really makes a big deal, no |
| kept it up. I dreaded going to playgroups, or being at a | | | | matter how small the hit was, and asks "Are you okay |
| group function where my little baby's left hook could | | | | Mommy? Oh Mommy is hurt. Poor Mommy. Are you |
| potentially be the talk of the week. I knew this was | | | | okay?" Make sure that you do not pose these |
| something that some children just did, but I did not want | | | | questions to the child. Just say them as if you are just |
| to be the Mom of "the kid who hits." | | | | asking. This is somewhat hard to do because we are |
| After scouring parenting books, the Internet and talking | | | | not all born actors. I actually had a hard time not |
| to other parents to gather what we felt was all the | | | | laughing at my husband saying this to me, knowing that |
| research that was out there we came to a dead end. | | | | I was just fine. To help me he buried my face in his |
| We were ready to quit and just accept that either 1- | | | | chest so that our daughter could not see that Mommy |
| this was a phase that would hopefully go away soon | | | | was in fact, really just getting a kick out of all of this |
| or 2-we would have a hitting child on our hands for a | | | | charade. At no point during this process do you draw |
| long time. | | | | attention to the child. The point is to put all of the focus |
| Finally just the thing we had been waiting for; another | | | | on "helping" the victim. |
| parent who had this same problem and solved it much | | | | We only had to use this method about 4-6 times for |
| differently that we had been doing. We had been | | | | our daughter to understand that if you hit someone |
| working on changing our child's behavior by telling her it | | | | else it really does hurt the other person. If it does not |
| was a bad thing to do, and showing her with our | | | | work right away, don't panic. If you are like we were, |
| grimaces and looks of discontent that hitting hurts. | | | | you are willing to do whatever it takes to make this |
| These were not working, and we were ready to try | | | | behavior stop. Hitting is one of those things that lots of |
| anything. | | | | children go through, but it is no less painful, physically |
| This takes two adults or at least an older child to work. | | | | and psychologically to each parent who has to |
| When your child hits someone, your natural reaction is | | | | experience it. Working with them in this way will help |
| to go straight to the child and let them know just how | | | | them learn that hitting hurts and change their behavior. |
| bad that it was. This is where things go wrong. The | | | | |